MOTHERS MEETINGS: Your Mothers Meeting for Grenfell

Mothers Meeting is one of the most well known motherhood collectives in the UK. After the devastation caused by the Grenfell Tower fire, Mothers Meeting decided to hold a fundraiser. But in true MM style it was even more special; it was done in 3 days with countless contributions from women from all walks of life. After attending I was asked to share my thoughts of the day, which I was more than happy to do. A full write up of the event can be found here.

As always happy reading x

grenfell mm

Photo courtesy of NATALIE EVANS PHOTOGRAPHY

 

WHAT MOTHER DOES: My beauty and haircare regime.

Here’s something you don’t find often. It’s me, talking about cosmetics, skincare and hair with Mallory, the talented beauty writer and mom (Shes a New Yorker!) behind What Mother Does.  She talks to women who are also mums about their beauty routines among other things. I’m so low maintenance I don’t actually know how this woman managed to get such a good interview. But, what I did share was how and why I keep the system I have for my hair and what is my go to skin care product. THE ONLY ONE I HAVE. So be sure to have a read and check out the amazing pictures. All taken by the brilliant Rachel over at September Pictures, who is also a fellow mum and she can work with her daughter in a baby carrier #GOALS. Talk about a girl gang, between the 3 of us and the 3 babies it was a really fun time. Anyway enough waffling from me you can find the full interview here.

As always happy reading x

What Mother Does

Photo courtesy of ©2017 SEPTEMBER PICTURES

THE RESILIENT MUM: SAHM / Working Mum Series

Luckily for me I straddle between two areas as a student mum. I’m not a stay at home mum but I don’t exactly work. Most people don’t really understand what being a student mum is like or how the “work/life” balance happens. How we have dealt with changes as a family and what the future plans are, were all the things The Resilient Mum (like most people) wanted to know. I also spoke about the ups and downs of being a student mama. It’s very honest and candid but I hope you enjoy.

The full interview can be found here.

As always happy reading. x

MAKE MOTHERHOOD DIVERSE: ELEPHANTS

The girls over at Make Motherhood Diverse were bold enough to share a piece of work I can only describe as the best I’ve written.

What if the elephant in the room could talk?

 Elephants is a piece about tokenism and covert prejudice. The concept was created when I noticed a trend of constantly being an other or ticking a box. While it’s clearly an uncomfortable topic, what was more uncomfortable was the idea of daring to open up this conversation. My experiences are personal but not uncommon so this was a main point I wanted to make. This piece was written to speak to the privileged whether that be via race, gender, age etc. Written to have a challenging yet also refreshing effect Elephants speaks about the topics we all avoid. It was also written to highlight the idea that the statistics we read about and pity, could sometimes be unsuspectingly already sitting at our table. The new age movement of being woke, should not always be aimed at the obvious suspects because passive microaggressions can cause just as much disturbance.

The full post can be found here.

As always happy reading. x

SUPERHEROES.

I wanted to write about how lovely my weekend was. I also wanted to share how in love I am with my boyfriend. Guys, it’s month 11 and week 2: I can’t deal. I actually can’t deal with Ed. Sometimes I feel like David Attenborough when we talk, are you of the same species? Are we speaking the same language? Who am I speaking to because I’ve known you 8 years and this is new?!?!?!?

In general this isn’t a huge thing. Particularly as we’ve not had some huge blazing row. Have you met us? We don’t even shout when we argue.
You’re not gelling with your partner or you have a barmy and you aren’t speaking. It’s normal, a part of relationships I’ve heard.
However whether or not I like it, the world I come from has higher than average rates of lone parent families. Moreover I come from one.

So while we may just be having an off week, (which compared to the last year isn’t the worst).

In the back of my mind I become all to aware, of what could happen if everyone doesn’t tread carefully. I also worry about the effects of one not so brilliant few days on my baby. Sanaa is so loved and we are sure to keep all of our disagreements away from her.
But there’s still a sullen air that lingers in the kitchen at 7am as we give each other pursed lips and curt replies. Or the unspeakables we’ve still got left in our throats, the words we didn’t already vent.
On one hand, I know that I cannot shield her from all of life’s sour grapes and faces. But, I also don’t want to contribute to the realisation mum and dad aren’t superheroes.
I think I’ve just understood part of our problem when Sans was born: I thought we’d both become superhuman. Not just the parents I dreamed for us to be, but the people I hoped we would be. Instead I’ve learnt we both make mistakes and we aren’t perfect but we love each other.
Also every discrepancy doesn’t mean we’re doomed and keeping things cordial is mum code for: I hope you know we’re not friends today just everything else. I also know if I’m not civil then I’m the one making drama. That means whatever point I had becomes void and I’m seen to be unreasonable. So, have a nice day, I love you.

 Our kid will always come first; I’m not really sure where we come with each other at all.

 This could all be my period talking 😂 but I suspect not. Anyway as always ups or downs my insta and blog must always come from a place of honesty. While I may not enjoy speaking about these kinds of things publicly, it’d be worse not to talk about them at all. So I thought I’d say it out loud: WE ARE NOT SUPERHEROES. Just Remi and Ed at month 11 week 2.

HIBERNATE.

We don’t really talk about the verb of grafting and hustling. Not proper logistics of what that entails. We tend to refer to them in name only. Between parenting, university and trying to make sure next summer my writing can financially sustain me; I’m knackered. I’ve gone  into an auto hibernate mode. Trust me I’m not complaining and I feel so lucky to be able to do the things I love but it is tiring. As a result of constantly being on the go, a few pretty cool people have asked me to write or guest blog for them. That means I need to get off the 100 mph rollercoaster and get organised and creative.
It means I need to be still and listen to my thoughts. This is where my main graft is sourced. I gain most of my inspiration from everyday life by way of observation, interactions and conversation. Reflecting on how I feel about it all and what I see from it all. I make notes in the memos of my phone, most days of the things that inspire me to write.
Stewing over all these unconnected bits of information somehow, join together and make up a finished piece. Honestly, it sounds much more straightforward than it sometimes is. Anyway I’m waffling now and I just wanted to provide some insight to how I work and where it all comes from. I’m off to do what I do 2nd best. WRITE. So I can send out all the pieces I’m excited to share with you. This one was all about the how next I’ve go to do!

HS.

No not high school. This would’ve been far easier to write if it was just about that. This is about the HS in my life. Hidradenitis Suppurativa. This is a chronic skin condition and although it isn’t an autoimmune disease a lot of research has shown it has a clear relationship with the immune system. So anyway I’ve had this since I was 13 it’s basically like getting the most painful acne in your bits and pits. Luckily for me it’s stayed mainly in my armpits for the past few years. But, the boils are so painful that sometimes you can’t actually move your arms.
Unfortunately all female upkeep such as shaving, waxing and wearing deodorant can aggravate it as well. I mean come on I have to put on deodorant EVERYDAY so it’s really a never ending cycle.
According to the HS trust it’s affects 1 in every 2000 people, so it’s not that rare but there is a lot of embarrassment associated with it. I used to be very self conscious of it and I thought I had genital warts before I even lost my v plates  because I just didn’t understand what was going on. Once I’d seen a dermatologist he let me know what it was and how to treat it but he also told me there isn’t a cure. A good diet and healthy lifestyle can only alleviate the symptoms for a time and for a while that did work for me.
From around 4 months prior to getting pregnant and the whole way through my pregnancy it lay dormant. No flare ups, no twinges, nothing. However another factor that contributes to the severity of HS is stress. Obviously becoming a new mum is stressful no matter how well it’s going and my transition was definitely not smooth sailing. My labour was so traumatic I still can’t speak about the emotional effects and it’s my kids 11 month birthday today. I’ve had a flare up or two every month since I gave birth. So if I’m honest I’m only sharing this with you guys because I’m avoiding going to the hospital or conveniently forgetting and I have been for a while.
I get labour flashbacks in those places and it’s pretty grim. But I need to go because even though life’s gotten better now my HS hasn’t. What I do know is now I’ve told all of you lovely  readers I’ll feel like I’ve got to visit a Dr. While I’ve written this for you to read, I’ve also written it for myself to remember.